So how do you know exactly when to re-open the lines of communication? When should you step forward and actually do something, as opposed to sitting back and waiting for your ex to come to you?
Breaking up is an emotional whirlwind of do's and don'ts. As you step back to evaulate the situation, you'll ask yourself many questions. What did I do wrong? Is there a chance to get him back? Should I call my ex boyfriend? These are all common thoughts after a breakup. But if these thoughts are not held in check, you could inadvertantly destroy any chances of getting back together with the guy you love.
One of the biggest mistakes most women make after getting dumped is contacting their ex too early. Knowing when to call your ex is only half the battle - the other half is knowing what to say when you finally get him on the phone.
Before you even think about getting back in touch with a boyfriend who ended things between you, a certain number of things must first be accomplished. Mainly, you need to put your ex in the mindset where he wants you back. There are a number of ways to accomplish this, and all of them require action on your part.
Your first move after getting dumped is always the same: embracing your break up. Does this mean you and your ex boyfriend are finished? Hardly. But for now anyway, you need to accept that your old relationship is dead. Anything that happens between you from this point on will represent a new romance, and a fresh new start together. That won't happen immediately of course, but if you play your cards right, it will happen somewhere down the road.
Accepting the end of the relationship and walking away is easily the number one way to get back your ex's attention during the initial stages of the breakup. Your boyfriend expects you to "fight to keep him". Instead of doing that, leaving quietly is your best move. It makes your ex uneasy about how you feel, and will shake up his comfort level for one simple reason: maybe you're "okay" with going your separate ways. As strange as it may sound, getting your boyfriend back requires indifference.
Distance equals longing. Should I call my ex boyfriend? Not if you want to prolong your break up. In the days and even weeks after he dumps you, absolute silence is your best friend. By putting your ex boyfriend in a place where he no longer knows where you are or what you're doing? You're making him uneasy about his decision to end things.
Make no mistake: guys will keep track of you long after they end your relationship. It's a jealousy thing, and it's a pride thing. He may still love you, but he doesn't want to see you succeed without him. Any time you move on with your life, it's an ego blow... which is why he's looking out to see what you're doing.
Pull the plug on your computer and lose your cellphone for a while. The complete radio silence will send your exboyfriend into a tailspin, especially if you'd been constantly text-messaging each other or writing on your Facebook wall. Not knowing what you're up to is the worst-case scenario for a guy who just ended things. Making him wonder is a fantastic way to get yourself back in his thoughts again, and quickly too.
In a break up, there's usually a winner and a loser. The loser is the person who still longs for his or her partner. So even though you were the one who got dumped? You can still emerge as the victor here. All you need do is put forth the attitude that life is absolutely great without your ex. In fact, it's better than ever.
When enough time has passed that your ex begins wondering where you are? Get out, do stuff, and have as much fun with friends and family as possible. Make yourself visible. Should you call your ex boyfriend? No, not right now. But putting yourself in a place where he's bound to see or hear about the fun you're having is a surefire way to make your ex jealous. We all want what we can't have, and once your exboyfriend starts thinking he can't have you? You instantly become a hundred times more attractive again. Sitting at home and waiting for the phone to ring is never attractive.
Ultimately, your goal is to reconnect to your ex boyfriend... but on your own terms. The best way to do this? Having your ex interested and curious enough that he calls you up, instead of you calling him. To create such an environment, you'll need to learn the proper re-insertion techniques that will get you back in his head again. By being proactive with your methods, you can develop a scenario in which your ex begins seeking you out... at which point you no longer have to worry about the question should I call my ex boyfriend?
Winning back your boyfriend isn't something you should leave to chance. "Winging it" will almost always lead to failure. And when you finally do get him back on the phone... what next? What should you say to your ex so that he wants to take you out again?