Believe it or not, your ex misses you after the end of a relationship. He can't show it of course, because he's the one who just ended things. Even so, there are small signs that he's still thinking about you after the break up. Staying in touch with you or asking to be friends is one way of keeping you within arms reach in case your ex changes his mind. No matter how things ended, there are still lingering feelings deep in his heart, especially if you've been together for a while.
If you're trying to win back your ex boyfriend, you'll need to dig those feelings out. You can't do this directly: most girls make the mistake of calling too much, sending cards, or over communicating. Writing your ex boyfriend a letter that tells him just how much you love him is never going to work, especially right after you've broken up. Before learning the intricacies of how to push on your ex's emotional hot buttons, you'll first need to give him some time and space. Time to miss you, and space to wonder where you want.
Chances are your boyfriend loves you, so winning him back shouldn't be all that hard. Getting past his decision to end things is the key, and even more so? Making him believe the decision to get back together with you is his... and his alone. No guy wants to feel strong-armed into taking you back, which is why you can't use guilt, crying, or any of those dirty little tricks designed to garner pity. Instead, doing the opposite will always make him want you back: be strong, be confident, and be happy. As your ex sees you in this mindset, he'll think you're over the relationship and have moved on. Not exactly what he wants, even though he's the one who did the dumping.
Getting to your ex boyfriend's suppressed feelings requires patience and tact. While dropping out of his sight for a while, take the time to examine your entire relationship from beginning to end. Look at how things were in the beginning, and try to get a feel for how you treated each other. Was it very different from how things were at the end? If so, ask yourself why. Also ask yourself what changed, when it changed, and how you both allowed it to change. These are hard questions, but if you can answer them honestly you can identify times and events during your relationship that may have affected the way you treated each other. Respect is important. If one or both of you have lost it, it's going to be difficult to get your ex back.
It's easy to go through your entire break up without understanding why your boyfriend left you. Instead of constantly asking him or demanding answers, seek them out yourself. Once you've identified what problems you were having, you can concentrate on ways to fix them. Arm yourself with this knowledge, because you'll need to use it when your ex boyfriend contacts you again. Eventually he will. Especially if you've severed the ties of communication, left him alone, and given your ex time to miss and think about you.
Making your ex boyfriend want you back is one of the most important parts of any reconciliation. You can't do it if all you've done is sit at home crying over the break up, or spent the last several weeks trying to convince him not to end things. Getting back together is all about being proactive, and the sooner you start the better your chances will be of fixing your break up.