Why Does Your Ex Keep Sending Text-Messages and Emails?

in Ex-boyfriend

One of the most confusing aspects of breaking up is maintaining some sort of contact or friendship after the relationship ends. So when your ex keeps texting, you might think it means nothing... when in fact it means something pretty important or significant.

Do they still love me? Do they miss me? Is my ex texting me because he or she wants me back?

The first thing to realize when this happens is that you don't want to read too much into a post-breakup text-message or email. The more you want your ex back, the harder you'll look into these little conversations... picking them apart until you're absolutely sure your boyfriend or girlfriend is ready to get back together again.

Yet while that might not be the case - at least not right now - the fact that your ex is keeping the lines of communication wide open certainly means something. And in most cases? It means something significant.

Look at it this way: if your ex was fully broken up with you, they'd keep walking. There would be no need to drag things out by text-messaging or emailing you after the break.

So when your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is still keeping that type of electronic contact alive? It's one of the biggest signs of interest. And not just friendship-wise, but in a potentially romantic way.

So Why Does My Ex Keep Emailing and Texting? What's Their Goal?

Right now, there might not be a goal at all. Your ex could be confused and uncertain, and even questioning the breakup. If this is the case, you want that uncertainty to continue. You want them to be shakey about their decision to end things, to the point where they're soon ready to reverse it.

The root cause behind all post-breakup contact however, is always the same: your ex misses you.

Your boyfriend or girlfriend could be moving forward and thinking about ten thousand different things... but in actuality, they're sitting there thinking about YOU.

What Your Ex Says in a Text Can Determine What They Want

Decyphering your ex boyfriend or girlfriend's text-messages can go a long way toward knowing exactly what they want or expect. Below are some of the more common texts or emails you'll get from your ex after he or she breaks up with you:

"I'm just seeing if everything's okay with you..."

In this case, your ex isn't shooting you a message to see if you're actually okay. Since the breakup affects them too, they're more concerned with themselves at this point. So no, your ex isn't just trying to be friendly. They're sending this type of message because they MISS you.

"Even though we're broken up, I still want to be friends..."

An ex who tells you this deserves a long hard laugh. NO, your ex doesn't really want to be friends with you. What they actually want is for you to accept their offer of friendship so they can keep track of youafter the breakup.

Being "friends" with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is a pipe-dream. It's something that doesn't even work in the movies, let alone in real life. But the very fact that your ex asked to stay friends with you? That's a good sign. It's good because it means your ex isn't ready to let you go yet, and still wants to hang onto you in some small (albiet platonic) way.

NEVER wait around and stay friends with your ex. Not if you really want them back.

"I need my stuff back..."

The meaning of this type of text all depends on the importance of the stuff left at your house. For example, if your ex boyfriend left $10,000 worth of stereo equipment in your garage, he's calling because he certainly wants it back. But if all he left were a couple of movies or CD's? Your ex is looking for an excuse to call you. He or she misses you, and they're re-thinking the breakup.

"I'd like to meet so we could talk..."

This is the type of text you'd get just before your ex boyfriend or girlfriend caves in. They're one step away from wanting you back, but you still need to keep it slow. Responding to the text too eagerly would be a bad idea... let your ex sweat a little before writing anything back in all cases.

How You Can Use Your Ex's Text-Messages To Get Them Back

No matter what message appears on your phone, your ex is texting or emailing you for a very specific reason: self-indulgance. He or she is definitely reconsidering certain things since the breakup occurred, and they may even be feeling you out to see where you stand as well.

If you want your ex back you need to step up and go get them. You can't lay back and hope they come to you, just as you can't achieve anything worthwhile in life without going out and getting it.

Learn how to respond to your ex when they text you, and EXACTLY what to say. Learning the right ways to communicate with an ex girlfriend or boyfriend is your best chance when it comes to getting your ex to want you back.

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Anthony Malibu has 1 articles online

There are Individual Steps necessary to Get Back Your Ex, so find out what they are!  And for more information on an ex who keeps contacting and texting you after the breakup, be sure to check out What To Say To Your Ex.

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This article was published on 2011/06/21
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